Over the past several weeks, I’ve been grappling with an idea that has been at the periphery of my awareness consistently, yet elusively, at least as far as writing about it goes.
It all started on my 35th birthday with the whole Motrin Moms thing, which I am reluctant to dredge back up, but at the same time feel somewhat unresolved with, so I feel that reluctance along with a simultaneous compulsion to write about it and get it resolved.
It has to do with taking things personally and being outraged, but I have not been able to put my finger on what I wanted to say about those things.
Until this past week when I momentarily took something personally and became outraged (which I’ll tell you all about in a minute) and then became aware that its taking things personally and being easily outraged that most block our emotional and financial well-being and growth.
When we take things personally and are easily outraged, we become stuck.
The less I take things personally and get outraged about anything, the happier I am in life and the more I am able to manifest on the physical plane.
The less I take things personally and get outraged, the healthier I feel. The more content, I am, without dulling my ambitious nature.
I am able to stay ambitious, driven and on-purpose, but with an overall sense of calm knowing that everything is all right.
The frenetic need to make things happen and the constant fear that somehow I am missing something or missing out on something decreases each day I maintain my center and don’t take things personally or move into outrage.
I’ve spent the last several years learning a lot about personal growth and spirituality. And, it seems to me that everyone wants the same experience, for the most part.
Peace, contentment, satisfaction, and joy.
The path to these experiences is different for everyone … or maybe it’s not. Maybe, all it takes (as if it were that easy!) is to not take things personally and not get outraged so easily.
I am able to see that taking things personally and getting outraged easily are signposts for my personal degree of awareness.
When I see these signposts in my own experience, it means I’ve fallen asleep, lost consciousness in the literal sense, on the spiritual plane. Just as the ability to stay centered and calm, even when I disagree with someone or some event, is one of my signposts for wellness, prosperity, abundance.
It’s like there are two versions of Alexis – the little Alexis and the big Alexis. When I am aware, I am operating at a higher frequency, my responses are thought through with love and compassion. For myself and those around me.
When I’m not, little Alexis shows up and makes all the decisions. Reaction city. Reactions to annoyances that are more dramatic than necessary.
This all crystallized for me this past Tuesday when I woke up and got an email from Dave saying that he had missed his flight.
My initial, knee-jerk reaction was outrage, judgment, fear, and anger. My mind screamed “how could he be so stupid” and asked “what’s wrong with him?”
I took his plight personally. Momentarily, I even made it my fault. I should have checked his ticket and noticed the date. How could I let this happen? Then, I snapped out of the patterned response and asked God to show me the way to compassion, love and release.
Within a short time, I was able to remind myself that he’s a grown man who does not need mommy to monitor his travel plans or to fix this for him.
I halted my outrage in its tracks and reminded myself that it had nothing to do with me. This was his experience and he’d handle it. All I had to do is sit back and watch what happened.
I didn’t need to fix it, judge it, or worry about it.
Here’s the cool thing, he handled it great! Far better than he would have if I’d been harping on him that he did something “wrong” and shared my initial reactions with him.
Instead, when I talked to him, I transformed my anger into compassion, told him that I was so sorry for his being stuck in the airport on Christmas and that I loved him.
I’ll let him tell you the whole story himself, but the short of it is that it was a wild ride that ended up with him flying first class all the way through from Los Angeles and getting to Massachusetts in time for his family’s Christmas party.
It definitely would not have come out as well had I gotten outraged, as was my first inclination.
The bottom line?
Notice when you are taking things personally and getting outraged. Make the conscious decision to not do it. Ask for the guidance you need to replace those thoughts and emotions with compassion and love, for yourself and those around you.
So, to bring this all back around to the way I started, referencing the Motrin Moms dealio, which brought all of this up for me in the first place.
When I wrote the Motrin moms post, what I intended to say is what I’ve written here.
What was heard by the mommy community was quite different. So different, in fact, that when one of my team members approached a few moms to write about the work I’m doing to put in place legal plans that ensure kids are taken care of in the right way and the free website I’ve created where parents can name legal guardians for their kids free, she was told “hell no” (and a few other choice words I won’t write here because this is a family blog) because this mom was still upset about my role in the whole Motrin Moms situation.
Then, I heard that another mom apparently emailed the entire Silicon Valley Moms Blog community, where I used to blog for the LA Moms Blog and told them to NEVER do anything with me again. (For the record, I have not independently verified this – it could be just a rumor).
Wow. That’s some serious outrage.
As I thought about this and whether I should try and get through to these outraged moms, I decided that some people are my people, some people are not my people. And, I take none of it personally.