When I was an associate at a big law firm working my butt off 12 hours a day, leaving my house every morning at 6am and not getting home until after 6p,missing my baby and miserable, people told me that was the sacrifice I’d have to make to collect a 6-figure paycheck.
They said I couldn’t have it all. Or, if I couldn’t, I couldn’t have it all at once. There’s trade-offs, they told me.
You can’t be a hands-on mom and make a lot of money. You have to choose. If you want to work less, you are going to have to take a pay cut. Just accept that.
There was a part of me that knew they were wrong. Even though they were older than me, had been in the workplace longer than me, and were probably smarter than me, I knew they were wrong. I don’t know how I knew, but I did.
And thank God I did.
If I had listened to them, I might still be slaving away, wearing the golden handcuffs, thinking I couldn’t have it all and do it all, at least not all at the same time.
I’m here to tell you and I’m living proof that I did, I am and you can too.
Today, I’m working from home on my schedule, making lots of money and getting to be a hands-on mom. All at the same time.
And not only am I having it all and doing it all, but lots of women are. We are figuring out how to buck the bull being spread by people who are constrained by false ideas of the way things have to be.
So, I’m launching a series here on my blog to show you that it’s not only possible, it’s happening, right now.
Each week or so I’ll feature a new woman who is having it all and doing it all in her life and in her business. I’ll ask each woman the same questions and share her candid answers.
By seeing what’s possible for others, you will begin to grab hold of a new vision of what’s possible for you.
Because you can do it. You can have it all and do it all … all at the same time!
I’m kicking off the series with my own answers:
1. Your Full Name:
Alexis Martin Neely
2. Please Describe Your Business or Businesses:
My primary business is the Family Wealth Planning Institute. It has two focuses: 1) to give lawyers the tools to run client-focused, systems-driven, heart-centered law firms that make a real difference in their clients lives and 2) to educate the American public about how to make the smartest financial and legal decisions for themselves, their families and their businesses.
Through that business, I wrote a best-selling book on legal planning for parents and I appear on TV as a legal expert.
My second business is the Dave and Alexis Coaching program. Through this business I get to coach successful business owners on how to build multiple streams of revenue out of their core business and leverage what they already know and do into a fulfilling business that helps loads of people and makes a tremendous difference in the lives of others.
3. What Are the Gross Revenues From All Your Businesses
Currently approx. $1,500,000
4. Number of Kids and Their Ages
I have two children. The are ages 6 and 9
5. When Did You Start Your Business(es)
I launched my first business, the law firm of Martin Neely & Associates in August of 2003. The Family Wealth Planning Institute was launched at the end of 2006. And, the Dave and Alexis Coaching programs were launched in early 2009.
6. What Does Having It All Mean to You?
To me, having it all means helping a lot of people, raising great kids, being a great girlfriend, making a whole lot of money, having plenty of time for myself, and living a life I love without compromise.
7. What Kind of Support Do You Have At Home?
I have a great support network that includes a nanny who grocery shops and cooks, a housekeeper who comes three days/week, an ex-husband who fills in on as needed basis, a boyfriend who reads to the kids and horseplays with them when I just need a break and a personal assistant who handles everything you can think of for me.
8. What Kind of Support Do You Have At the Office?
I have a fantastic virtual team that includes a COO to run the company, 4 full time team members to handle everything from project management to customer service and everything in between, and loads of per project team members who jump in on an as-needed basis. We also have a part-time CFO, a bookkeeper, a CPA, and of course a lawyer.
9. What is your #1 tip for other moms who want to have it all, but can’t figure out how to do it.
Get clear about what having it all means to you. For each of us, it’s different and there is no right way. Start by spending some quiet time alone, not reading, not on the computer, not doing anything but sitting. If you say you can’t find the time, do it anyway. It’s the greatest gift you can give yourself. Start with five minutes if that’s all you can do.
Get out a journal and write out what your ideal life would look like. Don’t hold back anything. Think as big as you possibly can with no holds barred. As thoughts come up telling you that you’re crazy, keep writing and know you are on the right path. Describe the life of your dreams in detail.
Each time your mind tells you it’s impossible, thank it for sharing and keep writing. This is the beginning. You don’t have to know how yet. The first step is what. The how will show up.
It’s about being afraid and doing it anyway.