I’ve noticed recently I’ve actually begun to enjoy the conflicts that spring up between Kaia and Noah (when I’m in the right mood) because they give me an opportunity to teach them some of life’s MOST important lessons.
Lessons I didn’t learn until I was close to 30 and still struggle with regularly.
Lessons I am pretty sure you struggle with too. The one that keeps coming up again and again is about reaction and choice.
I believe this could very well be one of the major key to the resolution of world conflict.
Imagine what the world would look like if each one of us made the choice not to react in the face of conflict or confrontation, but instead to take in the experience, stay open-hearted and grow as a result.
And yet, HOW do you actually do that when you are in the midst of a confrontation and feel attacked? How do you keep an open heart when you are sure that what they are saying is just so wrong?
As you notice you are feeling confronted, before saying anything or responding in anyway feel into your body.
Where do you experience/feel the confrontation in your body?
Become aware of whether your body is contracting. If it is, breathe into the contracted, constricted part of your body.
Contraction is a result of fear, which will almost always escalate the confrontation.
This is the “normal” state with which we handle most uncomfortable situations.
But, there is an alternative.
As soon as you recognize the contraction/constriction in your body, remember that you have a choice.
Say to yourself “oh, wait, I can do it differently” and breathe into your heart.
Now, I know it’s super hard to open your heart when your mind is feeling attacked. Don’t expose your heart. Fuck no. Danger. Danger. It says.
But, here’s what you need to remember – closing your heart is far more dangerous because it will lead to escalation of the conflict, not to resolve.
The only possibility for resolution is for you to breathe and open.
Bring breath deep into your belly and let your stomach muscles relax and expand outward. Lower your shoulders.
Do this now. Let your stomach be big with breath. And then listen to what you are hearing from the person speaking to (at) you. Listen.
Relax and listen.
Bring the words into focus and ask yourSelf – your highest self – is there any truth here?
And whatever you do, resist the urge to go into any story whatsoever about the person confronting you.
See the experience from their perspective. What if what they are saying is true?
Breathe. Keep the attention on yourself and your breath.
Bring your attention tot he inside of your skin the part of your skin that faces the inside of your body and relax it out. Consciously expand and relax the inside of your skin.
Drop the space between your ears and your shoulder blades down. Look for the truth in what you are hearing. Consider reality from their perspective. And breathe.
Once you have some perspective, perhaps you can see there is a gift in this confrontation. Something for you to learn, to heal, to hear.
The choice is yours – react or breathe. React or relax. React or love. Choose well.