A few days ago, I shared with you some of the things that have happened in the last year since I sat in my chair at Ali Brown’s OSBW event and made the commitment to invest in her diamond level coaching and mastermind program.
At SHINE and afterwards so many women approached me to ask if it was worth it. Am I glad I did it?
Since I’ve been teasing you for a few days with the answer, I’ll give you the short answer right away. Yes, I am grateful to have made a $100k investment in Ali Brown’s diamond program.
That doesn’t mean investing $100k in a coaching program is right for you though.
If that’s what you’re wondering, let’s explore why I’m grateful I did it and how that might relate to you and your experience.
1. I needed a major challenge.
I had hit 7-figures in my second business, written a book, appeared on TV and was ready for the next level. I thought I knew what the next level was and that the diamond program would bring me closer to it. It turns out the next level was totally different than I thought it would be. And I’m so grateful to have discovered it.
2. I was ready to take full responsibility for my results.
I hired my first coach ten years ago when I still worked at a law firm. I was so resistant to it. Thought I was too smart for coaching. Thank God I got over that! Had I not, I’d probably still be at that law firm wondering why I never made partner and blaming everyone else for it.
Since then, I’ve had many coaches and become a coach myself. What I’ve noticed is that those new to coaching (including myself back in the day) have a tendency to be stuck in a victim/blame mentality. What that means is that when things don’t go well or you don’t appear to be making progress, you’ll be tempted to blame your coach. It’s a natural thought pattern if you haven’t done some serious work around personal responsibility. And it’s the exact thing that will keep you stuck exactly where you are.
About half way through the year this year, I began to ask myself if I’d received my money’s worth from the diamond program. It was a great awareness point for me. I noticed how my mind wanted to find all the ways the program wasn’t worth it. Victim/blame mentality was on the field. It was the perfect opportunity for me to practice personal responsibility. I got to consciously say to myself “Alexis, it’s half way through the year. What do you need to do to ensure you don’t f*%! this up and waste the $100k you invested in this program.”
You see, when you make the investment in a $100k program, the coaching is a very small part of it. You can hire an amazing coach for much, much, much less than $100k. You make the investment in a $100k program because 1) you need to kick yourself in the ass and shake things up and that’s what it’s going to take for that to happen for you; 2) you want to play with other high level business people who are also taking full responsibility for themselves; and 3) you will make sure it’s worth it for you, no matter what.
So, at the end of the day, what was it that made it worth it for me?
Well, besides everything I wrote about here there are a few other benefits I received from my investment:
3. I’m a natural voyeur and I learn best from watching others (not to mention, I simply love to watch).
Some of my biggest learnings came from watching behind the scenes as Ali made a major shift in her business and her life (those lessons will have to be a whole nother blog post). In addition to getting to watch Ali’s big shift:
I got to watch Lisa Sasevich go from $130,000 per year to more than $2,000,000 this year without making a single change to her website. (Made me realize how much time/effort most of us waste on stuff that simply doesn’t matter in the grand scheme).
I got to watch JJ Virgin build an entire brand from scratch.
I got to watch Kendall Summerhawk double her business and launch a brand new certification program. Plus, seeing how her and hubby Richard work together has been sweet.
I got to watch Sheri McConnell focus, say no, let go and step into her power and become a knock-out, red hot mama along the way. (Interestingly, several of us got HOT thanks to JJ’s coaching – I’m down below 125 lbs for the first time in 10 years, Lisa S. is smokin’ and even Mike Reese is looking pretty svelte).
Over the next several months, I’ll share with you the specifics of what I learned from watching.
4. I discovered I no longer have something to prove. The ego has been mostly annihilated.
This is a huge discovery. Huge, huge, huge, huge.
It hit home for me when I was listening to Barbara Corcoran speak at #Shine. She was my absolute favorite part of the whole event bar none. A new hero for me.
Barbara talked about that she was driven to create her $5 billion company by fear and insult. Her drive came from a deep desire to show her 3rd grade teacher she wasn’t stupid and her ex-boyfriend that she could be successful without him.
As she spoke I realized how much of my drive and ambition came from a very similar desire. I graduated first in my class from Georgetown because I wanted to prove to the boys from 7th grade that I was smart. And that this year in diamond has been a lot about letting go of this need to prove something.
I walked into our first diamond meeting armed with a Powerpoint presentation showing off everything I was working on and all I was going to accomplish over the year. At meeting 2, I sat on a stool at the front of the room and cried for my entire presentation time. And by meeting 3, I realized I’m no longer competitive. I don’t care if I make the most money or become the most famous. I just want to be with my kids and love my life.
Had you told me this would have happened when I signed up for diamond last year, I would have wanted to punch you in the face. I was so attached to the idea of what I wanted and how it had to look. And what I had to prove. But it did and I’m so grateful.
Sure, I’d love to build a $5 billion company like Barbara Corcoran. But, not with the same drive and push Barbara has. If that’s what is required, I’m okay with not doing it.
5. I’m a juicy, sexy woman and I want to stay that way and bring it into my business.
Barbara talked about her husband a little bit from the stage and mentioned that they rarely have sex and she doesn’t feel sexy. I get it. I’ve been there. When I’m immersed in ambition and drive, I don’t feel sexy or want to have sex either. All of my juice goes into my business.
Anne McKevitt, Ali’s mentor, told us from the stage that her doctors told her last year that she needed a pace maker. She felt so hard to me from the stage. So masculine.
I’ve been there and done that. Push, push, push. I don’t want to build my business that way anymore. I want to relax, let go, be a woman.
If I become a famous, multi-millionaire … great. If not, that’ll be okay too. But, what’s not okay is for me to feel hard inside and cold and tough. I want to be soft, yielding, sexy and yummy.
6. I trust.
Today, I trust deeply that everything that is meant to happen will and I can relax into it, allowing instead of forcing it.
My job is to get crystal clear about what I want, set my intention for that, take the next right indicated step, trust that I finally know exactly what I need to know (I’ve spent 10 years accumulating huge, expensive knowledge) or that I will receive the knowledge I need when I need it and finally, trust, trust, trust that when I need to act, I will.
Big revelations for me. All things I’d heard and read about in the past and knew on the intellectual level. Today, I embody them in a way I have not before. I’ve let go of a major, long-held dream. Something I’ve held tight to for the past several years. And I’m in mourning for it. But, also trusting that if it’s meant to be, it will be. It’s in God’s hands and I can let go.