A few weeks ago I participated in a deep shamanic healing ceremony and it’s only now that I have enough distance from it that I can write about some of what came through.
These types of experiences are so much more about what happens afterward than what happens during. I’m in major integration mode and it’s been challenging to share all that’s happening because there is so much and it feels like it’s happening at warp speed.
I’m having a hard time keeping up myself let alone getting it all down in writing.
There’s so much I wish you could just be here with me to experience — you really have to see it first hand, but I’ll try and share as much as possible with you so you can integrate your awakening as well and know you are not alone in the process.
Over and over throughout the ceremony, I received the message loud and clear … stop teaching and start doing the work.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that we teach what we most need to learn.
Well that’s certainly been the case for me. I created my LIFT System because I needed to learn how to put the right legal, insurance, financial and tax systems into my business after I made some very expensive mistakes.
My Money Map program was born out of a deep desire to consciously price and package my services, stop overworking and overselling and build an intentional, conscious support team around me and my business.
I’ve been blind in these areas of my business.
For years, I focused all my energy on making more and more money so I didn’t have to deal with them.
But I began to realize that no matter how much I worked and how much money I made, it would never be enough — not when I was doing it to avoid looking at the things that were hard for me to look at – like the legal and financial parts of my business.
That’s not freedom. It’s bondage. My company made nearly $3,000,000 in 2008 and 2009 and yet I was in survival mode almost constantly.
Always focused on more, more, more. Wondering if it would ever be enough.
The answer was no.
I was more asleep than I had ever been. Lost in so many ways. It wasn’t until the end of last year that I began to really come out of the fog.
The ceremony a few weeks ago reminded me about one of the most important things that guided me to come out of the shadows.
Stop teaching and do my work, on myself.
As teachers, healers and coaches, we can often get so caught up in service to others that we forget to do our own work on our own selves.
As I go through the major transitions happening for me (new marriage, deepening of my awareness of why I am here and what I need to let go of to really embrace my path and purpose) it’s more critical than ever so I don’t lose my way.
So I’ve started the Money Map process right along side the folks I’m guiding through the program.
And boy has it rocked my world.
This is the step where you look at what you really want your life to be like and how much time you want to devote to work and come up with your Money Map Number.
For R, it was a big realization that suddenly he doesn’t just have himself to take care of – he’s got a whole family now. And he’s taking his business to a whole new level with his book coming out and some new programs he’s creating.
All of that requires a whole new level of financial support. Growth is often scary.
For me, it was a reminder that I’m working too much – having multiple businesses really isn’t working for my life anymore.
I want more time with my children, time with my husband, time with my in person friends.
And I began to accept that I could let go of big parts of my lawyer business and it would be okay. I would be okay.
I knew this in my heart, but I’d been avoiding it because it was too scary to confront.
So much of my identity has been wrapped up in being a lawyer. Who will I be if I really let that go? How can the work I’ve created continue without me? What about all the time and energy I’ve invested creating this identity and bolstering it? Could I really just let all that go?
I’ve spent months with my brain twisted around these questions. It was only by doing my work on myself that I was able to begin to see answers that had been hidden from me before.
And finally I could begin to let go, relax, and surrender to what’s real and true. I can’t do it all. I’m not super human. My family needs me. And it all finds a way.
Never forget to keep doing your work on yourself.
What is your work? Do you do it on yourself? What happens when you do? Let me know I’d love to hear.