Okay, I admit it. I’ve been holding back.
I haven’t been writing because I’ve been in a dark space and I haven’t wanted to share that because there’s so much amazing stuff happening in my life that I’m in gratitude for and I want to keep my attention on that.
And yet, the darkness is there too. I’ve been keeping it hidden.
I told myself I was keeping it hidden because I didn’t want to focus on it, didn’t want to make it real, didn’t want to grow it.
But, by keeping it hidden I inadvertently lead you to believe that your life has to be perfect for you to step into the greatness of who you really are.
When, in truth, it’s just the opposite. You can only step into your greatness if you don’t wait for the darkness to dispel. You’ve heard the saying tha the light is most visible as it shines through the darkness.
It applies to your light too.
No matter what’s going on in your life, you CAN be thinking big. There’s nothing to hold you back now except your own BS (belief systems).
It’s never the right time. Just like it’s never the right time to have a baby. It’s never the right time to think bigger about who you are.
In fact, there’s no better time than now. Because what I can tell you is if you wait until all the challenges are gone, you’ll be at the end of your life before you realize you’re out of time.
Ok, so I know you are dying to know about this darkness.
What darkness am I experiencing in my life?
Closing down my law firm has brought me face to face with the darkness of people who feel abandoned by me. People who feel left behind.
I promised a lifetime relationship and now I’m no longer going to be their lawyer.
And while I have trained Personal Family Lawyers throughout the Southern California area who will step in and provide the ongoing service I promised, there are people who are not happy with that.
Rather than expressing their disappointment and sadness as that, they’ve turned their pain into anger and threats.
Susan, my Client Services Director, who has borne the brunt of these attacks, is a saint. She’s trying to shield me while at the same time conveying the messages. And with each new report, I have a choice.
I can react in kind with my own indignance (made that word up!) or I can recognize another opportunity to be more of who I am, feel compassion for the person who is unhappy and remember the Truth.
I have done everything I possibly can to ease this transition. The truth is, I’m no longer the best lawyer for my clients.
It’s hard to acknowledge that, but it’s true.
They deserve to have a lawyer who is in her office, focused on their needs, at least 4 days per week, not traveling around the country constantly, teaching and doing tv appearances. They deserve a lawyer who has an office they can go to, who will be available to talk with them when needed. They deserve a lawyer who has a team to answer quick questions and will be able to sit with them and go over their planning decisions on a regular basis and keep things up to date.
My clients deserve a Personal Family Lawyer and there is just no way I can be that lawyer and fulfill my life’s purpose at the same time.
I tried everything I could to bring a lawyer into my office who would be able to keep things going for my clients, but my standards are high and ultimately I could not find someone in Redondo Beach who was ready to step up in a big way build upon what I had created.
So now, my clients need to choose a lawyer in San Pedro or Santa Monica or Sherman Oaks to find the same kind of service and ongoing relationship.
And that’s painful. I hear ya. I loved the office in Redondo Beach, also. I loved working with you, also. I’ll miss you, also.
What’s so suprising to me is that a few of my clients are expressing their pain with threats and anger.
I haven’t written about it because I was trying to pretend that darkness didn’t exist. But, it does. And, I have to acknowledge that and bring compassion to it and not hide it away.
By hiding it away, I don’t allow you to see that you too can shine your light through the darkness. It leads you to believe that everything has to be perfect for you to go big. And, that’s the exact opposite of the truth.
Fortunately, I have seen rays of light through this darkness that have given me huge hope.
Here’s an example:
I was working with a woman named Helen on a book project. I promised to write a book as part of a series of books she is creating. She’s been asking me for the first two chapters for two months now and I just have not had time to get to it.
Between closing down the firm, working on the TV show treatment, training lawyers, raising kids, being a girlfriend, appearing on TV and trying to spend a little time every now and then taking care of myself, I just couldn’t get to it.
So, finally, I wrote to Helen and I told her I was just not going to be able to participate and I was so sorry.
I held my breath waiting for her reaction. Given the feedback I’ve been getting from a few of my clients as I’ve honestly told them I just can’t do it all, I expected anger on her part. I expected to get an email saying “Alexis, you promised you’d do this. Now, I’m going to hold you to it. And, if you don’t do it, I’m calling my lawyer.”
I braced myself for that response, in fact.
To my great joy, that’s not what I heard at all. Just the opposite.
Helen responded “Alexis, congratulations! We are so excited for everything that is happening in your life!” She went on to let me know that she wanted to support me in what I have going on in my life and if we could find a way to work together, great.
We’ve got a call scheduled for Feb. 25 to talk about how we can work together anyway.
This is the type of woman I want to do business with, I will make time for and cannot wait to build amazing things with.
What’s so exciting is that I am finding more and more people like that in my life. And so I recognize that the mean people are slowly but surely disappearing and this experience has given me the opportunity to uplevel the people I do business with and share my life with.
Yes, its scary. But, I’m being afraid and doing it anyway.
By the way, if you are ready to step into something bigger and just need a little hand-holding, encouragement, motivation and guidance to make it through the rought spots, I’m launching a monthly program that will help you do just that. The first month’s free. Check it out here.