I’m in the midst of a huge leap in my awareness and I want to share it with you because if you can make this leap, you’ll experience so much more happiness. Me too.
Maybe if I share it with you, it will actually sink in and I can embody it instead of just know it’s true on an intellectual level.
Ok, so here it is.
I need to let go of control and trust more.
That’s all nice and easy to say, but let’s take a look at what that really means in my life and why it’s so hard to do.
Before we do, let me say this – I am going to do it. I am going to trust and let go. Starting now, in this moment. And it’s going to be okay if I have to start over in every moment because I forget. I’m going to do it.
The alternative is too freakin’ painful. For you too, I bet. Maybe you’ve numbed yourself to the pain (I lived that way for a long, long time), but eventually you’ll feel it and when you do, you’ll have to learn to let go and trust.
Maybe this will help.
Thing I need to let go of & trust about #1: My kids and screen time.
I am a single mom raising two kids and running multiple businesses from my home. My kids love to watch TV and play video games. I need to stop stressing out about the amount of screen time they get and let it be as it is, trusting that sending them to camp & spending an hour or two of focus time with them throughout the day is enough for most days with 6-7 hours each day on weekends and the occasional mid-week 3-4 hour focus.
It hurts me to even write that because there’s a part of me that doesn’t think that’s enough. There’s a part of me (the part that wanted my mom to spend all her time with me, I guess) that believes I should be spending a whole lot more time playing games and reading to my kids.
But, it’s just not realistic at this time. And I feel like crap about it though I hide it really well most of the time. Or at least I think I do.
So, I’m going to accept what is and stop thinking it should be some other way. I’m doing the best I can. I love to work. I love to be able to work here at home while my kids play with their friends, play on the computer and watch TV.
And I’m going to trust that it’s all okay. My kids won’t grow up with mind-rot. I watched a boatload of TV when I was a kid – Brady Bunch, Laverne & Shirley, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeanie, Three’s Company, One Day at a Time, Dynasty, Love Boat. These were the shows that taught me my values, such as they were.
I guess that’s what I don’t want. I don’t want my kids raised by the television.
And now I can see that even when they get lots of screen time, it’s the teachable moments that I’m present for because I get to run my companies from home that are the important part.
I’m sure I’ll get some dissenting views, people who think I should be home with my kids and not running a business or earning money at all. They are the outer representation of my inner critic, so of course they will be appear in reality until I’ve cleared the guilt/thoughts from my own consciousness.
It helped tonight when my mom told me it’s okay for my kids to watch tv or play on the computer. Still need her validation, I guess.
Thing I need to let go of & trust about #2: My TV show.
I know I’m supposed to have my own TV show or be a major player in a multi-personality show. For the past couple years, I’ve been alternatively stressing and wondering if it will ever happen, taking action on things I believe will help it happen more quickly and/or deciding I don’t want no stinkin’ TV show anyway. Sometimes all at once.
When I was in Maui, I decided I wasn’t going to stress about it anymore, but I wasn’t going to wait around either.
My life is far too instructive to not let you in so you can see what’s possible in your own life, no matter how crazy and chaotic things are sometimes.
So rather than wait for someone else to catch the vision, I decided to just begin. And the Mommy Business Live TV series was born. Since then, I’ve stopped stressing out about whether the tv show will ever happen off the internet. It either will or it won’t, but my anxiety about it won’t make it happen any faster.
So, I’ve been happily taping activities in my daily life and sharing them with you. I haven’t been able to get the very best stuff (like when my kids are freaking out and I’m dealing with it much differently than most people, I think) because during those times I’m too in the situation to whip out the camera.
Even without that though, I’ve gotten some pretty great stuff, I think. Dave handling one of my moods in typical Dave fashion is my favorite so far.
In fact, I think I got some pretty great footage last week – took my kids with me to the training conference for my Personal Family Lawyers and then we stayed over for some vacation with Dave and his kids. Lots of juice. Kids on a business trip. Behind the scenes of the conference I was hosting. Dave’s kids and my kids. Even a fishing trip during which my kids caught 8 whoppers!
Unfortunately, you may never see any of that footage because I left one of my Flip video cameras at the hotel and it’s possibly lost and my other Flip is freezing up.
I could spend the next couple of hours stressing out and trying to fix the frozen Flip or try to locate the lost one, but there’s far too much on my plate. I need to let it go and trust that for some reason you aren’t supposed to see that footage. I need to let it go and trust that not being able to record a video for you tonight was fine. No, not fine … perfect.
And, in fact, it is because I’m writing this blog post instead and apparently writing is what is needed now. How do I know that? Because it’s what’s happening.
If I’m supposed to have a TV show on network TV, I will. But no more stress about it. At least not for tonight. 🙂
The truth is that it’s all happening. I’ve been asked to do a live internet television show for moms. I’ve met with a producer who loves the Mommy Business and wants to move it forward. Trust and let go.
Thing I need to let go of & trust about #3: My own time behind the screen.
I spend a lot of time in front of my computer.
I may have mentioned this before already (perhaps a few times) … I’m running two businesses from my home, one a multi-milion dollar business that’s transforming the way lawyers are with their clients and the other on track to possibly hit 7-figures this year.
Both of them pretty much start-ups and growing substantially each month.
Along with that comes a whole lot of stuff for me to do. It’s just the way it is.
Let’s take a look at just this week:
- I promoted and hosted a call teaching lawyers how to engage the prospects who call their office.
- I’m in the middle of teaching a teleconference series to business owners on the legal, insurance, financial and tax systems necessary to have a rock-solid foundation primed for growth.
- I’m preparing for a huge, innovative launch dreamed up by me and Dave and recruiting affiliates for that campaign, which kicks off with an affiliate training call this Tuesday.
- And, I’m giving a 90-minute presentation at the Los Angeles County Bar Association Small and Solo Firm Conference on how lawyers in small and solo firms can have it all and do it all.
It’s all happening and it’s all happening right now! The truth is, I love it and it’s very unlikely that I’ll just be involved with one business, ever. It’s not my nature. I LOVE business. I love starting new businesses and creating and planning and executing. And I’m busy and it’s perfect. When it’s not anymore, it’ll be different.
And because I’m doing so many things at once, not all of them are going to move as quickly as I’d like. Which brings me to the 4th thing I need to let go of and trust about and will have to be the last thing for tonight because I can only make so much progress at a time.
Thing I need to let go of & trust about #4: Who, Where, and When
I cannot control the who, where and when of anything even though I really really want to! I can only control What and Why … and even then only somewhat.
I get to choose the what I do, be, have and the why that drives the what. (And I’m only really choosing when I’m acting from a place of awareness instead of reacting, which isn’t even all the time yet.)
But, I cannot control who shows up, where or when they are ready.
And because I’m involved in so many things, I also need to cut myself slack on the “if only I worked harder at it” more people would show up front. Tonight, I was a stressed out that our call is on Tuesday and many of the people I thought would sign up to be there haven’t yet and I don’t feel like I have time or energy to remind them again about the call.
I know it will be great for them, but I can’t control it. I have to let go and trust that the right people will be there.
If you are reading this and you serve business owners and want to put money in your pocket this summer, get your message in front of tens of thousands by the end of July, bring more business in for your business over the long-term and cement your relationship with your list forever, you’ll be on Tuesday’s call even if I don’t do another thing.
The right people will show up so long as I’m putting my best possible effort into it … because it’s perfect. So long as I continue moving forward in faith and taking inspired action, the Universe will reward me with everything I need.
I’ve come to accept I may not get everything I want when I want it, but I’ll always get what I need for my highest and best good. All I have to do is do my best with the resources I have available in any given moment and keep moving forward guided by what deeply inspires me. And let go of control and trust.
I agree totally with you. I am using these as my mantra. TRUST AND LET GO, and FAITH AND TAKE INSPIRED ACTION. Thanks for opening your world and sharing. I have had the feeling that I must be the only one who feels like this. Now, I do not feel so alone. Thanks again
Great post! I absolutely loved just sitting around in the grass with you and I think we found a way to “cheat” – we weren’t staring at a screen but we still got in lots of juicy business talk!
It’s easy to become a slave to all the tasks we need to accomplish, and that habit can become stressful when we realize that there is 48 hours of work (potentially) that needs to be done each day.
Being able to let go of that burden is difficult, but when we do, the result is added joy in completing those things we do attempt, and joy is what we are really here for.
Thanks for the reminder Alexis, that we should simply do our best with the resources we have, with an attitude of inspired action!
Very inspiring article. I can very well relate to what you have expressed, as a Mom and business owner. Thanks for sharing.
What you say is totally true yet so difficult some times to execute! I, myself, am in the process of running one start-up and working on starting up a second. There are some many things that needs to get done — it is hard some days to trust that it is all perfectly in alignment especially when you are a type A go-getter LOL!
Thank you for your post — it is thought provoking as always!!
Way to go Alexis! I’m so with you on this.
Trusting and letting go are the same as surrender…which until recently for ME meant giving up! Nothing is further from the truth though.
Surrendering helps you to build TRUST in the Universe, something we don’t all have loads of but could really use plenty more of!
What you are letting go OF, (or surrendering TO), is FEAR.
We fear “this” or “that” or “the other”… and we fear it in every pore of our bodies…this ENERGY if fear that we carry round inside of us is LIMITING us…..and OUR CHILDREN.
Every time you get that familiar thought (ie; OLD LIMITING BELIEF)…just stop, right there, and BREATHE.
Ask yourself “what am I FEELING right now?”…ask again when the answer oxmes, and keep asking untli you get the REAL answer, the one that lives in your heart. that KNOWING place where only you can enter.
Then SEE that fear, say HELLO to it, really acknowledge it. It’s part of YOU, so just acknowledge it – don’t JUDGE it!
This all sounds like it might take quite a while to do, but in reality it only takes a couple of minutes to do this.
Every tine yiu do it and surrender, let go, stop controlling everything, and let it FLOW (meaning let the energy flow without disturbance ~ through you and out again & so on for infinity….you will feel the peace and the support and the joy of the Universe with you simply as a conduit for all that IS.
Sounds a little “out there” for a busy Momprenenuer day, maybe a bit “on the flaky side” of relity?
Just give it a go, and work it into your crazy, hard working life…take it on with a dose of fun, a quirky bit of “adventure” to play with….
It’s like having your own little garden to play in and go to reconnect to your Source – your inner wisdom, your intuition, and a way to take down the pressure and let GO of that guilt trip you lay on yourself – while you TRY so hard to be perfect.
Be REAL not PERFECT!
Surrender to the flow of life – you can still do that while taking inspired action, but it FEELS different!
With warmest love and light…
Trust and let go… Yes. You are doing the best you can right now and what you are doing is pretty fantastic! I’m referring some lawyer friends who do trust and estate work to your law biz revolution.
Kristina Haymes, Esq.