Ending a Relationship With Love, Honor and Respect

Four years ago this month, I met a man who changed my life.

I had been praying to God to show me how to transition from my bricks and mortar law firm into a business that would allow me to impact many more people and work from home.

I had spent a lot of money and time with false gurus who promised a lot and delivered a little.

Burned out and almost ready to give up, I flew out to Cleveland to a Dan Kennedy event praying for the answers I was seeking.

It was at that event that I met and hired Dave Dee.

Within just 8 weeks of working together, he got me focused and guided me to my first teleseminar, which brought in more than $200,000 over a 6-week period and became the foundation of a million dollar business within 18 months.

But, far more importantly, within 6 months we had fallen deeply, madly in love and for the past 3.5 years we have maintained a long distance relationship (he lives in Atlanta) and eventually created a business partnership as well.

Through this relationship, we have both grown immensely.

Dave taught me how to be a better mom to my kids. Pretty much everything I know about marketing, I learned from him. And together we have learned how to end a relationship with love, honor and respect.

There have been some tough times for both of us over the past few months as we’ve been discovering how to navigate this new way of being together (or not being together) and I’m exceedingly proud of how we have both handled it.

Through it all, we’ve been in open communication, honestly sharing our feelings without blame or victimization.  And just this past weekend, we decided that the right thing to do is to not only end our personal relationship, but also our business partnership.

I love working with Dave and this was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make.  It’s taking all my trust, faith and love to release this partnership.  And, yet, I know it’s the right thing to do.  For him, for me, and ultimately for the work we’ve created together.

Release and let go of that which is comfortable, secure, safe because there’s something so much greater than that for both of us.

It’s part of the new paradigm and it’s something we all must learn how to do in this evolutionary time.

How we transition our relationships (both business and personal) is a key driver of the success of our lives and our communities. Holding on too long compromises the relationship.  End the relationship with anger or resentment and you pollute the world.   Let go with love, forgiveness and understanding and you make our world a better place.

So, how do you end a relationship in this new paradigm way?  Here’s a few things I’ve learned from the experience:

1.  Don’t cling … be willing to really see when the relationship is no longer truly serving and let go.  Generally, this will be before you feel ready.  Let go anyway. Grasping, holding on, and staying attached will result in a whole lot more pain down the road for everyone.

2.  Love … no matter how hurt or angry you feel about the transition of the relationship, let love be the driver of your experience.  Feel the hurt of your heart and allow it to burn without lashing out at the person you feel is causing it.  Breathe into the burn, expand the feeling and don’t try to make it go away.

3.  Learn … every relationship is an opportunity to discover more about yourself.  Who are you really?  The pain of ending a relationship, especially before you are ready or if you feel you have been wronged in some way will show you how you are showing up in the world.  Choose to be the love you believe yourself to be and you will be that.  Above all, do not blame.  Doing so, blocks every bit of learning and self-discovery possible.

4.  Forgive …the end of any relationship requires so much forgiveness.  Give more than you think you should, forgive yourself and the one you are ending your relationship with, no matter what.  Holding on to anger or any negative feelings at all about the situation or your partner is not only hurting you, but it’s hurting the world.  Release it, let it go and truly forgive.  I’m not talking about some fake, surface forgiveness.  I mean really forgive.  More than you think is possible.

5.  Support … get the support you need from people who understand the new paradigm.   Whatever you do, do not listen to the people who might be suggesting to you that revenge is called for in anyway.  Be prepared for it because it will come up from well-meaning friends who think that will help you in some way, but it won’t.  Revenge pollutes.

Above all, know that everything is happening exactly as it’s supposed and in service of the evolution of your soul.  You are here to grow and evolve and there’s nothing that will help you do that more than the end of a relationship.

Although Dave and I will no longer have a business together, we will continue to do business together from time to time. Including a call on Wednesday that you’ll definitely want to register for.

We’ll be sharing how you can create your own money map and build (or rebuild) your business model around who you really are, the people you love to serve, the way you love to serve them and the life YOU want to have.  It’s changed my life and I’d love to share with you how it can change yours as well.

Register here:


Thank you David, for everything.  You’ve made me a better woman.


  1. Cheryl AntierTuesday, August 24, 2010 at 4:47 pm 

    Hi Alexis,

    It's never easy to end a relationship, and the way you and Dave are doing it – by both being willing to speak out and talk about the positive things that you each learned and brought to each other on a business and personal level is very inspiring. I wish you the courage and support you need during this time when you need it.


    Cheryl Antier

  2. Renae BellahTuesday, August 24, 2010 at 5:36 pm 

    Love & Light to you both. It is always hard to let go of what is comfortable, but it is often that comfort that keeps us back. Personal relationships are probably the hardest. It is not often enough that both parties recognize and accept the truth that the time has come to move on and that this can be done with out anger, resentment or revenge.

    Thank you again for being so open, so honest and so truthful. Your words are so very well timed and welcomed.

    Sat Nam.

  3. RainbowperidotTuesday, August 24, 2010 at 6:09 pm 

    It is easy to be generous with forgiveness and love when you are rich and have a thriving business. Did Dave steal from you, threaten to take your children, destroy your career, try to kill, leave you broken and old with no possibility of earning of living wage? I did not think so.

  4. KellyTuesday, August 24, 2010 at 6:41 pm 

    Alexis, I wish both of you well. You are truly a woman of Love, Honor, Courage and Grace!
    Kelly Marquet-Bodio

  5. RachelleTuesday, August 24, 2010 at 6:51 pm 

    I love how you take all the hard lessons you've learned and turn them into having better relationships, practices and self awareness. Your transparency always is inspiring! Thanks Alexis for your sharing 🙂

  6. SkyekingTuesday, August 24, 2010 at 7:02 pm 

    Thank you Alexis for sharing these intimate moments that are part of our lives and sometimes hard to share with all that transpires as one cycle folds into another greater one.

    Knowing that we each reflect the Divinity within each other, one persons lessons, pains and transformational growth is ours each just the same, only felt and experienced differently through the lens we see and feel through.

    I appreciate your openness and vulnerability which brings strength from within.


  7. Courtneymartin28Tuesday, August 24, 2010 at 11:21 pm 

    This is the second time in just a couple of weeks where this message has shown up for me. Both times, I have found them enormously helpful reminders to as to how I want to deal with the break-up of my own relationship. Though it is hard at times, ultimately I am reminded that this is how I want to show up in the world.

  8. Nancy MyrlandWednesday, August 25, 2010 at 2:19 am 

    Alexis, I replied to Dave's email the same way I will reply to your post. There are many of us who felt a part of your relationship because we were Blessed to spend time with you…in person (last year in LA), and often in Social Media. Even though I'm not going through your breakup 1st person, I hurt for both of you, but I'm also hopeful for both of you. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself in so many ways. HUGE hugs, Nancy

  9. TJWednesday, August 25, 2010 at 3:29 am 

    The experiences you share are so inspirational, thank you. As someone who has suffered in various ways, I attest that the points you make are universal truths and apply at times where life may seem otherwise a breeze as well as at times when life is a true nightmare. These make the difference. When applied, these serve, bless and heal the sufferer. And unless the sufferer deep down wants to be “right” and be king or queen of their justification (I've been there too until I learned a better way), these truths bring peace into even the most hellish circumstances.

    I just want to add, this gives me hope that not all endings and not all people are tragically tainted with bitterness, and your experience helps me stand stronger in that. Thank you again.

  10. ShellyWednesday, August 25, 2010 at 3:39 am 

    Sorry to hear that your relationship ended… but you honestly take my breath away with your courage and the way you can turn your experience into some good advice! Best of luck to you! 🙂

  11. Therese SkellyWednesday, August 25, 2010 at 4:15 am 

    You are such an amazing example of authenticity and the power of being vulnerable.
    But not in a “I'll be vulnerable and authentic to get something” kind of way, but a real and genuine manner. The way you have handle things with your ex husband is an example of the kind of woman you are. I imagine both you and Dave are both hurting right now, but following your Truth and leaning on Spirit is the way through and I know you know exactly how to do that.
    Sending you love and blessings,

  12. Kendra BrodinWednesday, August 25, 2010 at 5:31 am 

    Dear Alexis,

    I just wanted you to know that I am sending you and Dave love and peace in what must have been a very difficult decision, but one that you made with authentic devotion to who you are, who you want to be, and the journey that you are on. You are courageous, strong, and loving, and you have shared this challenging experience in a beautifully gracious way (as has Dave.) It is a shining example of how two people can part ways gracefully and without malice. Thank you for sharing, for modeling, and for being ever-true to who you are.

    Much love,

  13. NarahThursday, August 26, 2010 at 2:59 am 

    Hmm, one can never judge another so I do not judge you and think it's great you don't blame, etc. and just take the life experience and move on. I still just don't get how people don't understand partnership through thick and thin and through individual and joint growth for the benefit of all involved. Like, really? How can “Done with you, it's just not serving me anymore, next.” be all that great? It seems to show so little commitment. If there's always a back door to slip out of, what's the point? To me, true beauty and love is found in being team for better or for worse, in good times and through the rough spots. It's the same with our families, our friends, our children. At any one point one will feel like being done with them and they with us but do we really just walk out on each other? Sharing life is so special. Until you decide to stay, you will always find a reason to leave no matter who you're with. As smart as you are, I really just don't get the logic. Truly, no judgment. Just.don't.get.it. I do honestly wish you well. 🙂

  14. Christina MorassiThursday, August 26, 2010 at 9:52 pm 

    Oh, I am sad at the negative responses… Sigh. But nevertheless… Let me chime in with love and appreciation. My heart aches for you both… Yet my heart also swells with the beauty of how you both seem to be navigating a situation with such a high degree of difficulty. WOW!

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences so that the rest of us may share in them with you, and learn as well.

    Many blessings to all the hearts involved… (And enjoy Burning Man!)



  15. Christina MorassiThursday, August 26, 2010 at 9:52 pm 

    Oh, I am sad at the negative responses… Sigh. But nevertheless… Let me chime in with love and appreciation. My heart aches for you both… Yet my heart also swells with the beauty of how you both seem to be navigating a situation with such a high degree of difficulty. WOW!

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences so that the rest of us may share in them with you, and learn as well.

    Many blessings to all the hearts involved… (And enjoy Burning Man!)



  16. JenThursday, August 26, 2010 at 10:01 pm 

    My truth is this…you can absolutely love someone, want to be with them, but at the end of the day, if the path is not in alignment, having the courage to let go is one of the hardest decisions to make, but the bravest and best for both parties. Kudos to you and Dave for exemplifying such maturity in a world of greed, hate and fear…I am inspired and appreciate these posts. Thank you Alexis, I look forward to watching you and Dave’s forward progress from a foundation truly built on love, respect and support…

  17. KirinThursday, August 26, 2010 at 11:30 pm 

    Thinking of you Alexis! Sending LOTS of love and warm fuzzies your way. Because everyone can use some warm fuzzies sometimes!



  18. Leslie RinglerFriday, August 27, 2010 at 1:15 am 

    Did he steal something that could not be replaced, how are your children now, could you not rebuild a life purpose, you are alive and have been led to this inspired woman and have hands to to write this comment, do you not have the power within to heal yourself? You are still here! There is a reason for your existence and you are more beautiful and powerful than you know right now! Learn your lessons and step into your own healing, beauty and power!

  19. Bill Covert the Accelerator!Friday, August 27, 2010 at 1:42 am 

    Bless you 🙂

  20. Karen TalaveraFriday, August 27, 2010 at 1:47 am 

    Wow, thanks for modeling such a conscious, enlightened way to be in the world and kudos for giving your kids that loving example. I wish you and Dave both all the best, and got a kick out of the fact that you met at a Dan Kennedy event! Enjoy Burning Man, can’t wait for the photos! You are such a rebel underneath . . . .!

  21. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 2:41 am 

    Yes, Leslie, thank you for this.

  22. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 2:41 am 

    Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is what serves the world. No, Dave did not do any of the things you asked about, but my ex-husband did some of those things and I forgave him. That forgiveness healed me, my children and ultimately him as well. Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is what serves. When I think I cannot forgive I think of those whose children or family members were murdered and they have forgiven the murderer. That is true grace. We all have that power within us. Sending you much peace, love and forgiveness. You have more power than you know.

  23. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 2:42 am 

    Thank you Cheryl. We did bring so much to each other and now through this transition we can continue to bring more peace and love to the world.

  24. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 2:43 am 

    Thanks so much Kendra. It was a difficult decision. Appreciating your support.

  25. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 2:44 am 

    And you Bill.

  26. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 2:44 am 

    Karen, the rebel is starting to come through more and more. Watch for her. 🙂

  27. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 2:45 am 

    Thank you for the warm fuzzies love. And just in case you were wondering, I’m still planning to see you in Atlanta. Dave and I decided today that’s the right thing to do; so I’ll see you there!

  28. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 3:11 am 

    Thank you Christina! I look forward to the year you make it to Burning Man with us. xoxo

  29. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 3:11 am 

    Yes, there is so much love here and yet when I really looked at the life I wanted it was simply a different life than the one Dave wanted. My Money Map process really brought that out for me and I have to live true to my path even when it looks and feels insane to do it. Letting go, letting go, letting go. And loving while I do it.

  30. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 3:15 am 

    Thank you for the well wishes. And I understand many people don’t get it. It’s not something that can necessarily be gotten from the outside. It doesn’t have to do with good times or bad times or rough spots or anything like that. It has to do with different paths, divergent courses, and wanting different things out of life. Believe me, this was not a decision made lightly. And the love will always be there. It will just look different going forward.

  31. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 3:16 am 

    Thanks Shelly!

  32. AnonymousFriday, August 27, 2010 at 3:16 am 

    Thank you Therese! I so appreciate your love and support.

  33. Nicole PaluszekMonday, August 30, 2010 at 6:38 am 

    You and Dave formed such an amazing picture of togetherness, the idea of each of you going your separate ways is taking a bit of getting used to. I commend you both for the mature, loving, and respectful way you’re going about splitting up. May it be an inspiration to couples everywhere when they feel the need to separate.
    Wishing you all the best wherever your new path may take you, and enjoy Burning Man!

  34. Kim CastleTuesday, September 21, 2010 at 5:04 pm 

    Thank you for sharing your experience so openly with heart and compassion, and truth. The masks that we all have developed are starting to disintegrate, melt, and as you said ‘burn”. The pain comes from resistance to the expansion our souls call for. Thank you for being a beautiful radiant example of letting go, and letting go in the fullest of love.

  35. narahvalenskaSaturday, October 9, 2010 at 4:17 pm 

    Just saw your reply, Alexis. Thanks for taking the time. I know from experience biggies like this cannot be gotten from the outside sometimes but I do 100% get it was not a decision made lightly as these are usually not. It makes sense to me now as I can definitely see the difference between good/bad times (rough spots) and simply wanting different things out of life. Like I said, no judgment at all even when I didn’t quite get it before. Best wishes now on your new marriage, too. May it be everything it’s meant to be and hoped for! 🙂

  36. Woeser4u2001Wednesday, November 10, 2010 at 12:03 pm 

    The ideas are simply awesome.. i really do appreciate you for each and every moments of phrases .. thanks ..

  37. James BarnardMonday, July 4, 2011 at 8:53 am 

    Ali, this is so incredibly amazing and inspiring.  what a gift for you to go through that experience and share it with everyone.  this is the type of understanding and effective communication our world truly needs right now.  thank you for leading by example!

  38. Tatyanna WilkinsonFriday, June 1, 2012 at 5:28 pm 

    Just stumbled on this post. I have been struggling with how to end my 6 yr relationship in a loving way. I am moving out o July 1 and want the last few weeks we spend together to define our continued friendship and respect for each other. It is just time for each of us to be alone. There may be hurts and resentments, but I can release those to shift into a new phase. Thank you so much. Blessings.

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