Four years ago this month, I met a man who changed my life.
I had been praying to God to show me how to transition from my bricks and mortar law firm into a business that would allow me to impact many more people and work from home.
I had spent a lot of money and time with false gurus who promised a lot and delivered a little.
Burned out and almost ready to give up, I flew out to Cleveland to a Dan Kennedy event praying for the answers I was seeking.
It was at that event that I met and hired Dave Dee.
Within just 8 weeks of working together, he got me focused and guided me to my first teleseminar, which brought in more than $200,000 over a 6-week period and became the foundation of a million dollar business within 18 months.
But, far more importantly, within 6 months we had fallen deeply, madly in love and for the past 3.5 years we have maintained a long distance relationship (he lives in Atlanta) and eventually created a business partnership as well.
Through this relationship, we have both grown immensely.
Dave taught me how to be a better mom to my kids. Pretty much everything I know about marketing, I learned from him. And together we have learned how to end a relationship with love, honor and respect.
There have been some tough times for both of us over the past few months as we’ve been discovering how to navigate this new way of being together (or not being together) and I’m exceedingly proud of how we have both handled it.
Through it all, we’ve been in open communication, honestly sharing our feelings without blame or victimization. And just this past weekend, we decided that the right thing to do is to not only end our personal relationship, but also our business partnership.
I love working with Dave and this was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. It’s taking all my trust, faith and love to release this partnership. And, yet, I know it’s the right thing to do. For him, for me, and ultimately for the work we’ve created together.
Release and let go of that which is comfortable, secure, safe because there’s something so much greater than that for both of us.
It’s part of the new paradigm and it’s something we all must learn how to do in this evolutionary time.
How we transition our relationships (both business and personal) is a key driver of the success of our lives and our communities. Holding on too long compromises the relationship. End the relationship with anger or resentment and you pollute the world. Let go with love, forgiveness and understanding and you make our world a better place.
So, how do you end a relationship in this new paradigm way? Here’s a few things I’ve learned from the experience:
1. Don’t cling … be willing to really see when the relationship is no longer truly serving and let go. Generally, this will be before you feel ready. Let go anyway. Grasping, holding on, and staying attached will result in a whole lot more pain down the road for everyone.
2. Love … no matter how hurt or angry you feel about the transition of the relationship, let love be the driver of your experience. Feel the hurt of your heart and allow it to burn without lashing out at the person you feel is causing it. Breathe into the burn, expand the feeling and don’t try to make it go away.
3. Learn … every relationship is an opportunity to discover more about yourself. Who are you really? The pain of ending a relationship, especially before you are ready or if you feel you have been wronged in some way will show you how you are showing up in the world. Choose to be the love you believe yourself to be and you will be that. Above all, do not blame. Doing so, blocks every bit of learning and self-discovery possible.
4. Forgive …the end of any relationship requires so much forgiveness. Give more than you think you should, forgive yourself and the one you are ending your relationship with, no matter what. Holding on to anger or any negative feelings at all about the situation or your partner is not only hurting you, but it’s hurting the world. Release it, let it go and truly forgive. I’m not talking about some fake, surface forgiveness. I mean really forgive. More than you think is possible.
5. Support … get the support you need from people who understand the new paradigm. Whatever you do, do not listen to the people who might be suggesting to you that revenge is called for in anyway. Be prepared for it because it will come up from well-meaning friends who think that will help you in some way, but it won’t. Revenge pollutes.
Above all, know that everything is happening exactly as it’s supposed and in service of the evolution of your soul. You are here to grow and evolve and there’s nothing that will help you do that more than the end of a relationship.
Although Dave and I will no longer have a business together, we will continue to do business together from time to time. Including a call on Wednesday that you’ll definitely want to register for.
We’ll be sharing how you can create your own money map and build (or rebuild) your business model around who you really are, the people you love to serve, the way you love to serve them and the life YOU want to have. It’s changed my life and I’d love to share with you how it can change yours as well.
Thank you David, for everything. You’ve made me a better woman.