Ten years ago I was heavily preggo with my daughter, living back in my hometown of Miami for one year while I clerked for Judge Peter T. Fay on the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals.
I had just graduated law school was newly married and despite living where I grew up, really didn’t have any “in real life” friends. The few friends I did have in high school were long gone. And, at only 25, no one else I knew was pregnant yet.
So, I made friends online.
It was perfect. I had spent the summer as a summer associate being wined and dined by one of the biggest law firms in the world. I didn’t really have that much work and spent all day in my office surfing the internet researching anything to do with pregnancy and babies.
I stumbled across the November 1999 Moms Email group on Yahoo! Groups or it may have been somewhere else and we migrated over to Yahoo! after a big brouhaha within our original group regarding breastfeeding/formula or maybe it was cry it out/family bed.
Either way, I made my very first group of mommy friends and these amazing women supported me through my pregnancy and the first few years of mom life. I don’t know what I would have done without them.
In my real life, I was so lonely it was painful. After my clerkship in Miami, I moved to California, away from my family, to start my prestigious full time job as an associate at a big law firm.
I was only 26 years old and from the outside it appeared all my dreams had come true – husband, baby, prestigious job, 6-figure paycheck, etc. … But, I was so miserable.
My daughter who was just turning 1 cried constantly when I was at work. My husband was staying home to take care of her and for part of the time his mother (who was dying of cancer) lived with us. I was the only new mom among my law firm colleagues and my husband had very little desire to make any mommy friends.
I felt so alone. If it wasn’t for my online friends, especially the November 1999 Moms Like Me, I don’t know what I would have done.
Happy Birthday Ladies – each one of you has more than a little credit for the mom I am to Kaia and Noah today. I love you.
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Ah, Lex – you are so sweet.
I know I wouldn’t have survived D’s colic without you guys too!
10 years ago, though. Wow. Time flies when you are having fun….
Lex, you brought tears to my eyes! I’ve been thinking about all of my time online with the Nov99/MLM group. You all helped me so much through the rough patches with both kids, and I still love the way we keep in touch. Your work as a Mompreneur has also inspired me, Lex, to get out there and try my hand at my own business. I hope to be 1/2 as successful as you are! Kristen, you are so right, TEN YEARS — WOW!!
I can relate! I was 28, married a little over a year, working as a lawyer in DC, and one of the first of my friends to be pregnant. I too found a wonderful, supportive group of other DC expectant 1st time moms all due the same week I was. We called ourselves the “November Moms” at the time. Four of us started meeting for nonalcoholic drinks and dinner after work once a month around 4 months pregnant. By nine months there were about 8 of us. Our first babies are all turning 5 now and we are all still in touch. It’s a very special kind of friendship when you learn how to be moms together.
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