Happy BIRTHday to the Nov 99 Moms Like Me!

Ten years ago I was heavily preggo with my daughter, living back in my hometown of Miami for one year while I clerked for Judge Peter T. Fay on the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals.

I had just graduated law school was newly married and despite living where I grew up, really didn’t have any “in real life” friends.  The few friends I did have in high school were long gone.  And, at only 25, no one else I knew was pregnant yet.

So, I made friends online.

It was perfect.  I had spent the summer as a summer associate being wined and dined by one of the biggest law firms in the world.  I didn’t really have that much work and spent all day in my office surfing the internet researching anything to do with pregnancy and babies.

I stumbled across the November 1999 Moms Email group on Yahoo! Groups or it may have been somewhere else and we migrated over to Yahoo! after a big brouhaha within our original group regarding breastfeeding/formula or maybe it was cry it out/family bed.

Either way, I made my very first group of mommy friends and these amazing women supported me through my pregnancy and the first few years of mom life.  I don’t know what I would have done without them.

In my real life, I was so lonely it was painful. After my clerkship in Miami, I moved to California, away from my family, to start my prestigious full time job as an associate at a big law firm.

I was only 26 years old and from the outside it appeared all my dreams had come true – husband, baby, prestigious job, 6-figure paycheck, etc. …  But, I was so miserable.

My daughter who was just turning 1 cried constantly when I was at work.  My husband was staying home to take care of her and for part of the time his mother (who was dying of cancer) lived with us. I was the only new mom among my law firm colleagues and my husband had very little desire to make any mommy friends.

I felt so alone.  If it wasn’t for my online friends, especially the November 1999 Moms Like Me, I don’t know what I would have done.

Happy Birthday Ladies – each one of you has more than a little credit for the mom I am to Kaia and Noah today.  I love you.


  1. KristenTuesday, November 3, 2009 at 12:36 pm 

    Ah, Lex – you are so sweet.

    I know I wouldn’t have survived D’s colic without you guys too!

    10 years ago, though. Wow. Time flies when you are having fun….

  2. EmmaTuesday, November 3, 2009 at 4:42 pm 

    Lex, you brought tears to my eyes! I’ve been thinking about all of my time online with the Nov99/MLM group. You all helped me so much through the rough patches with both kids, and I still love the way we keep in touch. Your work as a Mompreneur has also inspired me, Lex, to get out there and try my hand at my own business. I hope to be 1/2 as successful as you are! Kristen, you are so right, TEN YEARS — WOW!!

  3. Danielle G. Van EssTuesday, November 3, 2009 at 5:52 pm 

    I can relate! I was 28, married a little over a year, working as a lawyer in DC, and one of the first of my friends to be pregnant. I too found a wonderful, supportive group of other DC expectant 1st time moms all due the same week I was. We called ourselves the “November Moms” at the time. Four of us started meeting for nonalcoholic drinks and dinner after work once a month around 4 months pregnant. By nine months there were about 8 of us. Our first babies are all turning 5 now and we are all still in touch. It’s a very special kind of friendship when you learn how to be moms together.

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