You’re in the midst of a conflict with your spouse, your best friend, one of your team members, a parent or a sibling, a child … how do you “work” through it?
I use work in quotes here because I really do mean both aspects of work, the inner work of the emotional upset and the outer work of putting your Great Work into service.
I know many of my clients struggle with this … staying in service to the outer work when the inner work is raging. And it’s one of the things I’m best able to help them with because I’ve dealt with it so much in my own life.
I’ve experienced a lot of turmoil over the years. Inner conflict, outer conflict. And I’ve worked through all of it.
It first became a big issue for me when I was going through my divorce while at the same time building my law firm.
I found that back then I could use work as an escape from the emotional upset. The more he triggered me, the more I focused my energy and attention on work.
To do that, I numbed out. I didn’t feel the feelings that were coming up. I avoided them.
Now that I am becoming more and more in touch with my emotional body, I am finding it more difficult to focus on work when I am experiencing conflict or emotional upset.
Putting my head down and focusing on work doesn’t seem to work anymore.
I’m supposed to be writing copy. Lots of copy. Copy for the big call I’m hosting on 12/31 about building a business around your Great Work, copy for my new Eyes Wide Open Action Guide, copy for my next Powerful Feminine Leader group, copy, copy, copy and I find myself unable to focus due to some emotional stuff I’m working through.
Where I used to become MORE focused on work around emotional upset and conflict, now I find myself less creative, less able (or willing) to push through.
My mind tells me this is a problem. “Danger, danger … this is why I’ve helped you with the numbness. Why’d you have to go screw it all up by dropping our defenses?” it yells at me.
My body says “go take a bath and relax.” There will be plenty of time to write later. Take some time to feel your sadness, be with it, bring tenderness to it. See what happens when you do that. Maybe your writing will be even better and come even more easily.
So that’s what I’m going to do. Even though my mind says to push through like I’ve always done and get back to work.
I’m going to take some time for the inner work and trust it’ll enhance how I’m able to bring my Great Work to the world.
So what about you?
How do you “work” through conflict and emotional upset? I’d love to hear.