The Split Personality of Transformation

By its nature, transformation means going from being one way to being another way.  Caterpillar becomes butterfly.

It means letting go of what was to step into what is becoming.

But there is that moment in between – the moment when what was and what is both exist in the same plane of existence.  For the caterpillar/butterfly, the expression appears as goo.

My experience of it in this body is that of having a split personality. Literally, it feels as if there are two of me at this very moment in time.

And these two are combining and intermingling in ways that feel at times exhilarating, at others heartbreaking, and at yet others completely terrifying.

I take a look at what it must look like to those looking in from the outside today and I am amazed at the oddity I’ve created.

There’s the Alexis who is a lawyer and has created a new paradigm business model for lawyers – she exists as Alexis Martin Neely on Facebook and her main website is (full of media appearances and “professionalism”), with several side sites for the lawyers and families she serves.

Then, there’s the evolutionary strategist emerging from the cocoon. She’s Alexis Neely on Facebook, but her website is (this site) plus a couple more for the programs created to guide evolutionary entrepreneurs to the money, business and legal structures they need around their world-changing work.

Alexis Neely, Alexis Martin Neely, Alexis Martin … with the real Alexis please stand up?

Internally, these two parts of me always existed.  For years I suppressed the evolutionary Alexis, kept her hidden and attracted people who reinforced my belief that she was a little too “out there.”

The past 9-12 months have been about integration.

I’ve finally come to a place of acceptance that anything less than complete integration is simply not an option.  I cannot continue to live two lives, be full steam ahead building two businesses that serve two completely different markets, and perpetuate the internal unrest that has driven my life.

It is not in alignment with what I want.  Harmony. Union. Resonance.  Congruence.  It all comes from within me and as long as I am living the dissonance, it is what I will continue to experience.

Despite my great intentions to work a reasonable schedule, I was up until 230a at least one night last week working on things for the lawyer business – marketing the business, love and money virtual event, upgrading our training programs and with the travel and private client work I have coming up  throughout November, I felt as if I had to do it.

Maybe I didn’t.  Maybe it was the workaholism talking.  But, it sure felt like I needed to finish those things.

Bottom line, it’s not sustainable, this split life.

Something has got to give.

And it’s the lawyer training business. It’s time to discover whether passive revenue via business is a reality or just a dream thrown about by marketers who want you to believe in the possibility of something that’s not really do-able.

I’ve invested 4 years into creating amazing, world-changing work that serves lawyers.  I’ve put systems around the work.  And I’ve got a team in place to run the systems.

Time to see what happens if I don’t put anymore creative energy into it and let it fly on its own.

I’ve spent the last 9 months streamlining it, stripping it down to it’s very best bare essence, cutting out everything that wasn’t working and making everything that was even better.

I’ve got it set up so it’s bringing in enough income with minimal effort to sustain itself and serve the lawyers it’s serving and now it’s time to stop building. <deep breath>

I’m afraid it will die if I really stop.

I’m scared to let it be.

But it’s time.  Integration must take priority.  My soul’s evolution must come first.  The split personalities are being unified.

The Universe is supporting the unification by sending me more evolutionary entrepreneurs to work with than I can get back to who need and want my combination of lawyerness and love and Goddess-based business models to support the evolution of their business.

I can stop pushing on the lawyer business for now.  If lawyers want what I have, they can find me.

I’m throwing down the gauntlet and taking a stand, walking my talk, closing a door, trusting my path, focusing on the people I absolutely love to serve and allowing plenty of time and space for my soul to evolve.

This is my public declaration so I can stop talking about it and finally do it.

And so it is.


  1. AmethystThursday, October 28, 2010 at 6:21 pm 

    Damn Straight Baby!! I believe that you have finally MADE A COMMITMENT – to YOUR Soul’s Longing for itself to be expressed. There’s only one way from here – shut the door – say thank you very much for that experience – let go – trust and know that you are more than good enough – and your work has been the seed and the flower of a whole new paradigm of lawyering that is birthing. That’ll do Alexis, that’ll do…. (have you ever watched Babe with the kids?? You might thoroughly enjoy it….) Loving your courage and your light! All is well…. Amethyst

  2. Sandy HarperThursday, October 28, 2010 at 6:33 pm 

    Thanks for sharing, Alexis. I, too, am in the midst of transformation and understand the emotions and fear. I wish you all the best. You are one of the people that I’ve been blessed to connect with over the past year and someone that I admire greatly. You’re gonna be awesome in your new “state”!

    Take Care ~

    Sandy Harper 🙂

  3. David FeakesThursday, October 28, 2010 at 7:18 pm 

    Alexis – As one of the lawyers who started training with you nearly 3 years ago, I am forever grateful that the Universe introduced me to you. You have taught me a whole new way to practice, serving the people I truly want to serve. I might never have discovered that on my own. Thank you. Let the systems work – if it is meant to be, it will be.


  4. LoveThursday, October 28, 2010 at 7:28 pm 

    thank you alexis, great post. it was like i was reading my own thoughts… sending love to you in this time of transformation… xoxo

  5. WhateverThursday, October 28, 2010 at 9:46 pm 

    yada yada yada

  6. AnonymousThursday, October 28, 2010 at 10:26 pm 

    David, this means so much to me. With tears in my eyes, I thank you. Seeing you work the programs I created is the most gratifying thing in the world to me. And knowing that you and the other lawyers are okay with me stepping back and letting the systems work eases my mind and heart considerably. Thank you.

  7. StevenFriday, October 29, 2010 at 2:24 pm 

    “I’ve finally come to a place of acceptance that anything less than complete integration is simply not an option. I cannot continue to live two lives, be full steam ahead building two businesses that serve two completely different markets, and perpetuate the internal unrest that has driven my life.”

    I feel the same way about my life all of the time. It’s like I’m a puppet on strings, but each string has a mind of it’s own. There is no coordination between the cocoon-me and the butterfly-me.

    “And it’s the lawyer training business. It’s time to discover whether passive revenue via business is a reality or just a dream thrown about by marketers who want you to believe in the possibility of something that’s not really do-able.”

    I have the same long-term goal. Passive income is the only way I can imagine living – why didn’t they teach us about this stuff in school? It is DEFINITELY do-able, but it takes a lot of work. I assume you are familiar with Pat Flynn at Smart passive income? I just started listening to his podcast (it’s relatively new) and he has some amazing content on there. I suggest you check out some of his tips if you haven’t already.

    Keep integrating!

  8. JudeFriday, October 29, 2010 at 10:23 pm 

    Good for you! Thanks as usual for sharing and reminding me…who is still a bit in the goo. ;0)

  9. Karen TalaveraFriday, October 29, 2010 at 10:58 pm 

    Amen! Doesn’t it feel great to let go of something? I bet (as slim as you are) you already feel 50 pounds lighter!

  10. Karen TalaveraFriday, October 29, 2010 at 11:07 pm 

    Totally and well said Amethyst (how the heck are you?)! The integration thing is happening to all of us, mostly women first, and it’s beautiful and fascinating to see all the forms it’s taking. I felt exactly as Alexis did a year ago and can now see the two sides of what I then perceived as a “split personality” coming together. I started a spirituality blog and run an online marketing consulting business (the business was first), but really both are thriving on what has always been my first love – writing – and through that I’m able to bring business goals to my blog (and grow it into a business) and spirituality to my marketing (repositioning as “Enlightened Emarketing”).

    All our disparate parts will be woven together if we’re meant to keep them, and those that don’t serve us will fall away. And I say, the sooner the better baby!

    P.S. Realizing those who don’t know me might perceive “multiple personalities” for me online, I bought and put a small site up at my name URL ( over a year ago. I wanted an online anchor presence I could grow with and into. That’s the place people can see all my sides, connect the dots, and work with me in the direction they wish. Alexis, you might consider taking one of your name URLs and doing the same, and renaming or shutting down the other.

  11. Kia KisoSaturday, October 30, 2010 at 2:44 am 

    Alexis, can you read my mind? I think some of what you have written is verbatim from my inner-dialogue.

    Love ya!

  12. Lynne KlippelSaturday, October 30, 2010 at 2:12 pm 

    Just wanted to give you a high five. I’m so proud of you for speaking your truth, sharing your light, and becoming ONE in so many ways. There are so many of us experiencing this call to integration of all the parts of us. It’s got to be part of the wonderful shift so that we can all bring more light into this world. Shine on Sister, you are not alone!

  13. AnonymousSaturday, October 30, 2010 at 4:02 pm 

    Love. 🙂

  14. AnonymousSaturday, October 30, 2010 at 4:02 pm 

    Hi Karen, I love enlightened emarketing! Can’t wait to hear and see more about that. I’ve thought a lot about how I could direct all of my name URLs to one site and merge the personalities and where I’m stuck is on my attachment to all that media I’ve done. The site should really be merged into the site (this one) and I just can’t seem to let go of that image I’ve created yet. My ego really loves that I’ve done all that TV and until I can integrate it in a way that meets the needs of all my parts, here I am w/ my split personalities. It’s the same w/ my Facebook. It’s time to release my Alexis Martin Neely profile, but I’m attached to those 5,000 friends over there, even though I don’t know hardly any of them and don’t feel like I have a very rich/connected experience there. But, here I am still attached to those numbers and the appearance.

    The more I talk about it, the more willing I become to let it all go.


  15. AnonymousSaturday, October 30, 2010 at 4:03 pm 

    So good to know we are not alone, huh? 🙂 Love you too Kia.

  16. AnonymousSaturday, October 30, 2010 at 4:03 pm 

    Thank you Lynne! I love you and how you show up in the world.

  17. AnonymousSaturday, October 30, 2010 at 4:04 pm 

    Thank you Sandy. So grateful for your support and connection.

  18. KarissaMonday, November 1, 2010 at 9:27 pm 

    I struggle with the same things. I don’t know if I should be doing everything under my name or under my business name or if I should merge my 2 FB profiles. What about all the web accounts that I have created over time in my business name? Should I start new ones with my name or just leave as is?

    Alexis: In the beginning of finding you I bookmarked all your different sites but it took a bit to do so. I often wished that you had a landing page for everything that is you. Just take this post, and have Chelsea put it on something like (available) like her own page

    I plan on doing something like that myself but just haven’t made it a priority yet…

  19. Claudine BassonTuesday, December 21, 2010 at 7:47 pm 

    I’m not sure whether to thank the Universe for putting this post in front of me when I needed it or you for writing it! I guess it’s never wasted so thank you, Alexis. I’ve recently been made aware of the integration / synchronicity that’s shaping my (currently turbulent) life but reading this post made the penny drop and I can now see the full picture. I’m inspired to pick up and forge ahead.

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