What to Do When You Get Pissed

Here’s the fact of the matter, you are going to get pissed sometimes.  I sure do.

And there’s a right way to handle it and a wrong way.

Right way – communicate with love and open-hearted statements about how you feel.

Wrong way – shut down, close up, get resentful.

Doing that puts your relationships in jeopardy.   When you close down and take your anger inside, it transmutes into blame and victimization.

Then, we have to rationalize and justify where we weren’t wrong, where we were the right one in the situation.

According to a book I’m reading, Anatomy of Peace, it is this justification process that is at the heart of all conflict.  It puts our hearts at war.  And when our hearts are at war, the world is at war.

The answer is to put your heart at peace.  And the way to do that is to communicate when you get pissed, don’t take it inside and let it transmute into resentment, blame and victimization.


Talk about how you feel and why you feel that way. Take full responsibility for your feelings and for communicating what you want to be different in the future about the situation.

Then thank whoever and whatever you are pissed at for the opportunity to grow, to be more, to be bigger and to attract more of everything you want into your life.

Or, you can react, get resentful, and not talk to anyone.  You choose.


  1. MetroMomWednesday, June 2, 2010 at 3:21 pm 

    What a perfectly timely post today. I've been going through a lot of what you're describing but remembering I'm a grown up and that communicating is key. This is what I'm working to teach my kids as well. I read Anatomy of Peace a few years ago and it was one of those life-changing books. I think it's time for me to pull it off the shelves and see what new nuggets I can take away at this time. Thanks for the reminder.

  2. Ricardo BuenoSunday, June 6, 2010 at 12:33 pm 

    Agreed 1,000%. Communication is key. Not angry, or shouting, or in disagreement but rather in openness to what the other is saying/feeling and accepting differing points of views.

    Sometimes, it's best to step back and reflect then come back and enter in a space of calm discussion rather than blind anger. This applies to both business and personal lives of course.

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